Today's Update: 42.7% chance of total global destruction within next 3 days.
Reasoning: Our in-depth analysis of the cosmos has revealed a 3.2% chance of spontaneous combustion of the sun, which we've determined to be a 1:1 correlation with global annihilation.
@Prophet42: "I'm telling you, it's gonna be a bad day."
@NotAProphet: "Dประก @Prophet42, you're just making this up as you go, aren't you?"
This site, the prophets, and their predictions are all completely serious. Or not. Possibly. We're just making this up as weประก go along.
Prophecies: The Worst of the Worst | 42.9% chance of impending doom